Alexandra Karlovic

What excuse do you use ?

" Striving for perfection is the greater stopper there is ... It's your excuse to yourself for not doing anything. Instead, strive for excellence,doing your best."

Sir Laurence Olivier

British Oscar winner actor.

Take one step at a time ...

"When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself."

Isak Dinesen

Isak Dinesen was the pen name of Karen Blixen, the Danish author famously portrayed by Meryl Streep in the film of her best-selling memoir, Out of Africa.

Two weeks with Irvin Yalom

Several years ago, I remember my aunt and mother speaking about Irvin Yalom's book "When Nietzsche wept" It is only recently that I read it. What a wonderful book ! I was captivated by this hypothetic psychoanalysis of Nietzsche by Dr Breuer in Freud's time in Vienna.

It is not only about certain aspects of psychology, it is about an inner quest of a man, how a relationship, a trust relationship with a therapist can be the most important success factor of a therapy, it is about how in such a relationship, the therapist also receives. I very much appreciated how Irvin Yalom paints this relationship and the honesty necesary to a trusty relationship.

Before I knew it I was reading another book of Irvin Yalom " Lying on the couch" that captivated me even more I think. To which extend can the therapist share of himself with his patient? Which of course leads me to ask myself to which extend can a coach share of himself with his client? I personally have always taken the party of honnesty and the question that I always ask myself is "how will this help my client?", if it does, why not ? Actually it can be a great way of showing that your empathy is not a professional obligation but rather a true felt feeling and that even if you are coach you are still human.

While "When Nietzsche wept" is a quite philosophical book, "Lying on the couch" is a fantastic thriller!

I am now reading a book on the hidden face of Che Guevara by Jacobo Manchover, and must confess I still have half of my brain thinking of Marshall Streider and Ernest Lash !

Where does life's tragedy lie ?

"The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach."

Benjamin Mays

African-American minister Benjamin Mays laid the foundation for the civil rights movement with his books and speeches and as a mentor to Martin Luther King

Arrêtons de manipuler le téléspectateur !

Je viens de voir le téléjournal sur France 2. Je suis outrée par le langage biaisé des reportages au sujet de l'Indépendance du Kosovo.

Le reporter sur place interview un Kosovar quant à son sentiment aujourd'hui à l'heure de l'indépendance, unilatérale (je précise car celle-ci avait formellement été interdite dans la Résolution des Nations Unies de 1989 et si l'on cherche un peu plus loin l'intangibilité des frontières est consacrée par le Droit International, mais bon celui-ci est rarement respecté).

Unconfirmed author writes about life

It was in 1994, I was dating a Colombian man and had the chance to meet Gabriel Garcia Marquez at the place where his family and him were living in Paris.

It is very intimidating to meet a Nobel Prize, especially a monster of litterature such a Gabo. We had a nice lunch and an interesting conversation. I can't say I agreed with his political views but the writer always takes my breath away.

In 2000, as his cancer was worsening rumor had he had written a poem "the puppet" that had been published in a Peruvian newspaper and spoke about life. The poem was soon to be published by other newspapers and eventually turned out to be the work of a Mexican ventriloquist and not of Gabo.

Be it from one or the other, to this day I don't know what to think. All I can say is that the text its beautiful and is worth reading whoever has written it !

A taste of Myanmar

Mingalaba !                                                            

It’s been several days since I landed and I feel my brain is only landing just now  …

So, talking about Myanmar … (it is really important to say Myanmar instead of Burma, even though it may not sound as musical as Burma. The reason is that the name Burma was given to the country after the main ethnic community called the Bamar. Talking about Burma means you disregard the other ethnic groups of the country and there are 130!) …

First of all, the road: Rangoon (Yangon) first, Kyaiktiyo Golden Rock after followed by Inlé Lake for a few days, then Mandalay (including Ava and Amarapura) and finally with the boat to Bagan. Except for the train I have taken all the possible transportation you can imagine and this includes: boat, plane, bus, pick-up, taxi, rick shaw, horse …

Back in town !

In case some of you wondered … I am not only about coaching and training … As I was thinking about it during my trip I thought I would like to add other categories to my blog as well ...

So here is the new category My Travels dedicated to present, past and future travels and Thinking out Loud/ Opinions dedicated to my thoughts …

I hope you enjoy this addition …

Out of office

The holidays are finally here ! I am going to Myanmar to visit friends of mine and then backpack a little as well :-) so Yangon first, then probably Inlé Lake for a few days, then Mandalay, then with the boat to Bagan and Mount Popa and finally Kyaiktiyo Golden rock :-)

Time to rest, to empty my head and fill it with new ideas, working on my objectives and feeling greatful.

As the Dalai Lama often says, each year go somewhere you have never been :-)

This is a trip to Myanmar but also a trip inside of me ...

Namaste

Alex

Aristotle is still with us ...

The year has started and we find ourselves doing some things exactly the same way we used to. As Einstein put it, expecting a different result by doing the same thing over and over again is called insanity !

So what are you going to do differently this year ?

Here are some ideas: will you be more kind? will you live more in the present? will be you be more of service to others? will you spend your time differently? will you forgive more and ask for forgiveness? will you be more grateful? more creative ?

Decide what are the standards you want to live by in 2008, make few decisions, decisions you can keep and practice all year long until it becomes a habit !

I believe it is Aristotle who said that Excellence comes from repeating good habits over and over ...

You want to be excellent ? You want to be remarkable ? Well you can, decide, commit and then repeat and repeat until it sticks !

New Year Resolutions

Developping a coaching attitude is not only about coaching others ... It is also about coaching yourself ... One of the easiest self coaching tools to use is setting goals for oneself and measuring them regularly !

Interestingly enough this is something that a lot of people do ... it is called New Year Resolutions ...  Unfortunately most of the time those are great intentions, eventually put down on paper but as time goes by, those so called resolutions are measured end of December right before drafting new ones for the following year.

What I got for Xmas :-)

This is something I am really excited about ....For me it is the beginning of a new journey ... Sylviane Cannio, former President of the Belgian Chapter of the International Coach Federation and recently new elected member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) World Board (2008-2010)has agreed to be my supervisor :-)

This is a breath of Fresh Air for me and the opportunity to start flying higher :-)

Namaste Sylviane !

Merry Xmas !

Dear readers,

I have the feeling I keep apologizing for not writing more regularly, so one of my resolution is to stop doing so ;-) If I don't write it is either because I am caught up in my daily life (yes it happens to me too), I am travelling (that will happen hopefully even more), I have no inspiration (that too happens to me !), I am stuck in an elevator or on a desert island, or climbing in a tree trying to save a cat ...in other words, if I don't write it probably because I have a good reason :-)

Meanwhile allow me to wish you a Merry Merry Xmas ....

ps: Oh, and I just made a total elf of myself

How to make people like you in 90 sec or less

                   

Is the title of a Book by N.Boothman that I recommend to my trainees if they want to get familiar with NLP techniques related to Communication and have a better understanding on how communication works.

I guess one could say this is the new Dale Carnegie version. I find it rather to the point and giving basic tips that are acknowledged as being useful by all communication gurus. The French version is available in the Marabout collection for 6,90€ !!!

Rencontre avec Jan Ardui

La semaine passée j'ai eu l'opportunité de rencontrer Jan Ardui lors d'une session d'Inspirational Leadership.

Nous avons travaillé ce que souvent nous n'avons pas l'occasion de travailler en formation, la partie de l'iceberg qui se trouve sous la mer ... Nos valeurs, nos croyances et tout cela à travers des questions et du feedback. Pas n'importe quel feedback bien sûr, un feedback réfléctif (c'est à dire un feedback qui stimule la prise de conscience et permet à la personne de décider de changer ou continuer ainsi) pour reprendre les mots de Jan et j'ai envie d'insister sur un feedback connecteur (si ce mot existe).

Et c'est précisément ce qui m'a tant impressioné chez Jan, cette capacité incroyable qu'il a d'embrasser la complexité d'un système, d'une personne, de pénétrer en pronfondeur et depuis une vue d'hélicoptère et ensuite de faire des connections, appuyées sur plus qu'une intuition.

J'ai appris, j'ai été déstabilisée, j'intègre et j'avance ...

Leadership and the one Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard

  " Different strokes for different folks" is the key concept of Ken Blanchard Situational Leadership model. In other words, a manager needs to adapt his leadership style to his co-workers, depending on their level of committment and their level of competence.

This book will give you great tools from setting SMART objectives to coaching your people in achievening them.

You can find an explanation of its principle at Chimeara Consulting and if you are looking for a training or want more information on Ken Blanchard's work consult the Blanchard Companies webiste :-)

Tao of coaching by Max Landsberg

I suddenly realized that I talk in my training about several books, refer to my blog and most of them are not even mentionned on my blog ! So here we go for a series of good books to read ....

Short, simple, one of the best support when you start coaching your co-workers. This is a valuable tool to any manager who needs to develop a coaching attitude. The tale of Alex who might be missing his promotion because he doesn't seem to dedicated time to make his people grow could be you.

Manage your Energy, not your time !

                          So what was that article about? Every month I impatiently wait for my monthly subscription to reach my mailbox! Not the computer one, the physical one, where you go down the stairs, use your key, run in your jammies up hoping the neighbor hasn’t see you …. I love it! Anyways, so yes I am addicted to a magazine, I am addicted to the Harvard Business Review. Down to earth, straight to the point, great authors and great references what do you want more?

This month edition, besides having its front page dedicated to Amazon, has a great article by Tony Schwartz, founder of the Energy project on Energy Management. (This is where I got the new category name I now use.)

On a regular basis I hear in my trainings managers complaining about time management, being overloaded not only by demands but also by emails …and I speak with them about prioritizing, chunking, but also finding the purpose of what they are doing (or want to do when it comes to setting an objective)  in order to keep the momentum going. I often refer to it as “the emotional juice”. Knowing why we do things keeps us going when the going gets tough.

Latest news

  Last weeks have been crazy and the following won't be any less... Trainings and coaching sessions are filling up my agenda and I must confess, I got slightly overwhelmed.Neglecting my social life to a certain extend, except for this week-end where the girls and I took off for a week-end to Lisbon, and dropping my healthy rituals, such as breathing in the park and samba dance !

As you can see I still need to train myself aswell, push myself, get myself back on track, and sometimes an article helps ....

Reconstruction (partly)

Besides the fact that I have been extremely busy, which isn't really an excuse, even if this includes a girls week-end in Lisbon, thanks to some friendly advice I have decided to remodel the categories. So bear with me for a few days and let me work on this to make it even better :-)